Monday, November 12, 2007

Hold me closer, Tony Danza

I’ve been singing that ol’ Elton John ditty for years, and I just don’t care that they aren’t the right words. I do it out of love for life’s little misnomers. So what if it’s not a mute point? Who cares if it’s not a chester drawer (which I still SWEAR exist, by the way). It’s okay to misinterpret things every now and again….like the time we were playing flip cup and I told the lady next to me that she couldn’t play (while touching her stomach and insinuating that she would hurt her nonexistent baby).

Misinterpretation is cool, I guess. Or maybe it’s not as cool for potential employers when they’re looking at my resume. Now let’s be honest, everybody fudges a little bit. But was I dishonest to say that I majored in Finance and Spanish? No. Those were, in fact, my two undergraduate majors. Buuuuut when the HR rep from Venezuela called the other day, it was a little difficult to recapitulate the rigors of my last job…considering that, after two years of not speaking a lick of Spanish, I very inconveniently forgot the words for audit, system data, tax implications, and Cost Center accrual process. And was I dishonest to say that I studied in a Masters Program (programme if we’re being really picky) in South Africa? No! I did study there, and I worked like a mad man learning the things I cared to learn. But did I finish? Well, who has to know*!

*(apparently potential employers)

So...yeah, employers don’t take too kindly to that kind of fudgery. Where do we go from here, then? My best friend suggests that I walk into a corporation, slam my resume on HR’s counter, and say: “I just sailed across the Atlantic in a tiny sailboat. It took two months. Give me a job.” There’s not much to misinterpret there, but unfortunately the entry level job market for retired sailors is a little slim these days. But who am I kidding, you just want the stories of the boat, don’t you? Well fine. Touch me in the morning, and then just walk away. Here's the update by month...

July
It's the month that precedes August. I'm just kidding, but there really isn't much information to give for July. It was a cool month (literally and figuratively), but it was a holiday more than anything else. I threw myself a 4th of July party, and it was pretty much the coolest 4th of July South Africa had ever seen. Soon thereafter, I was picking the route home. Since I’d placed my advertisement to sail home (for free of course…feel free to be jealous) on the job board at the Royal Cape Yacht Club, I’d received 5 calls, all of which were to different parts of the States. In the end, I chose South Africa to Brazil to Puerto Rico to Key West.

The boat – August and September

So it was me and two others as we made our way across the salty pond. The captain was a total jerk and had a condemption fit (see the title of this post if you think I spelled that incorrectly) at the slightest error in course. He was, however, an excellent sailor; he had a 5th sense on those seas. The 1st mate was a definite free spirit, and had traveled all over this green earth of ours. He taught me about navigation through the stars, how to fillet a fish, how volcanic islands were formed, as well as about marine life, wind patterns, ocean currents, and quite obviously, how to sail. It was a great experience…all 50 some odd days of it. I learned so much and had plenty of time to reflect on life. It’s safe to say that I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world. And it’s also safe to say that you should be jealous of me. Pics are on the website (in the blog below, I have a link to my webshots page). I’m off to drown my sorrows (no job yet) in a pint of ice cream. I’m an emotional eater. Lay off!

Friday, November 2, 2007

June, a safari, et al

So June. It started with a friend: Ansley. She came to visit from America, equipped with a bottle of B&B and Smartfood White Cheddar Popcorn. In return for her kindness, I played host. Even though she wasn't able to get her hands on Girl Scout Cookies, I still treated her to a two week "safari" in what was arguably the best two weeks of her life...okay maybe not, but I tried my darndest to make it a good couple of weeks. When someone pays a bazillion dollars to visit Africa, bearing gifts from the land across the salty pond, you better make the experience count. All I'm saying is that the pressure was on.

If you're wondering why safari is in quotes, it's because it didn't shape up exactly as we'd planned, but it was still an adventure and a journey. If you'll recall, safari in Swahili means journey. So yeah, we "safari"ed it up in our tents and our outdoor attire…and our naivety. We had a tour guide with us, so we were a little less scared when we heard the lion’s mating call and the laughing hyenas on night 1 of our camping trip in the middle of the Namibian desert. What was he going to do exactly if a lion jumped our tent? I don’t even know. But by the end of the trip, I would have slept right through an elephant stampede or an entire pride of lions mating 3 feet away from the tent.

Every day (and night) of that trip was an experience. I’m talking about sleeping 10 feet away from hippos who had a tendency to walk through our campsite, elephants charging our highly secure chicken wire fence, outdoor bathrooms and showers (with men and women on this trip, things got interesting), some of the coldest nights of my life (and, not to toot my own horn here, but I come fully equipped with a polar bear patch in Boy Scouts, friends!), some of the best food in all of Africa, giraffes, Panda Bears (not really…just checking to see if you’re awake), Victoria Falls, zebras grazing in the hotel lobby, 2 separate cruises (one “Booze” and another not so much), greedy little baboons, greedy little monkeys, and some of the most ridiculous people I’ve ever met in my entire life. Favorite quotes of the trip:

“You broke a TOILET!”
- one of the ladies on the safari to her overweight boyfriend after he called her inconsiderate for smoking around other people, namely me -- the cursed and allergic one

“Unlock”
- our ridonkulously intoxicated tour guide after locking the keys in the car...while under the influence, one can only assume that saying something is as good as doing it

“If she took all the hot water, I’m going to dropkick her into the lake and feed her to the hippos as a lil’ snacky snack”
- my friend, after having about 10 cold showers in a row at our various camp sites

“That’ll be six US dollars”
- the waiter, after my friend asked for a scoop of vanilla ice cream at our hotel, better known as our one night respite, no matter how expensive, from the perils of the wild

On our last day of the trip, my friend and I took a canoe down the Orange River in what had to be one of the most amazing sceneries on God’s green earth. Here’s a pic of the view we had.**


So, I really enjoyed that last night. Plus it was a good time to reflect on the trip. I also met two folks at that lodge who were in tourism, and one of them told me about this crazy way to get home: sail…for free! Naturally, it didn’t take much convincing, and seeing as I had decided that I was finished with school (most of you know I left the masters program the following month, July) I saw no better time than the present to hop on board, literally. I went right back to Cape Town and signed up at the Royal Cape Yacht Club for a one way ticket home on a sail boat in the middle of hurricane season. Don’t worry. Since I haven’t updated this blog in forever, I’ve actually already made it back. Well that’s it from here. I’ll update more later.


**speaking of pics, go to http://community.webshots.com/user/jondavidconolley for all the pics from all of my excursions. I lost my jump drive, which is where I kept most of my pictures, so we’re not talking about all of the pics. But I’ll update more once I can steal some from my friends still currently living in Africa.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

May (only a few months behind)

School, school, and more school...school was the name of the game in May, but who honestly wants to read about Dominant Party theory and Huntington's view of the state anyway.

There was very little fun had in May, but I'll give you what I got. I was afforded the opportunity to go back to Stellenbosch, b/c a friend of mine had a visitor. If you have a visitor, it's one of those "must-dos", especially if you're a wino like most South Africans. So good times were had at the vineyards, even though I almost got pushed into a lake and a duck attacked us at lunch. Here are a few pics of the place.




My one chill school day in May was when I just decided that I'd had enough and was going to sit out on the rugby fields (which overlooks the entire town...very nice view). So I called up some friends, and they came out to the fields and just sat there with me for about an hour and a half. It was just like sitting on the quad in the Spring. College flashbacks.

I also have a friend who had sent an e-mail about me visiting with a mutual friend who was now living in Cape Town. So one Saturday, I met up with the infamous, and probably soon to be famous, Cara Morse in Kaulk Bay. We had a great time and turns out we had many more mutual friends. As practically a native of South Africa (one of her 'rents is from there), she knew all the hot spots around the bay, and we went to all of them. If you're ever in Cape Town, I now know a pretty awesome bakery you should visit...and leave it to me to reduce my good times in a country to food. Moving on!

The only other good memories I have for the month of May are going to Lecca Il Gelato (an ice cream parlor) and watching Republican and Democratic debates with my buddy Elliot. Once again, food is on the top of that list, as if you're surprised. But Elliot and my other friends in Cape Town made life, especially in May, so great. They challenged me, engaged me in intellectual conversation, were great listeners, kind people, and so many other great qualities that I would bore you to go into all of it. But just know that my friends are friggin' awesome! And how great is it that Elliot and I were keeping up with American politics while abroad? We had good times in May. That's all. My friend, Ansley, came to visit me in June, so there was some really cool stuff that month. Be on the lookout soon.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Attention all avid bloggers and subscribers to From T-town to C-Town!!!!!!

Jon David Conolley did not, contrary to popular belief and what could easily be intimated by the lack of blog posts, get eaten by sharks or trampled by an elephant in South Africa. Having said that, I’m more than a little behind in updating this blog, so let’s get right to it.

April (That’s right, I’m updating month by month in the interest of time)

April in Cape Town was great. School was in full swing…too full of a swing if you ask me, considering that, through my fault and my fault alone, I hated what I was learning. Regardless, I was learning all kinds of stuff, making a mark in the community, and really beginning to feel like I belonged in Cape Town. I’ve decided that if you have the right people around you, you can live anywhere and do anything. There’s nothing like a cheeseburger and movie with friends until 4 in the morning or a party devoted to diversity and an amalgam of Asian and Jewish cultures (known only by the clever misnomer ‘Soy-Vei’). And as long as I still have my political junkie friends who will go to the internet cafĂ© and download Republican and Democratic primary debates and talk about them over what is arguably the best chocolate cake I’ve ever put in my mouth, life is good. So, be it watching a friend begrudgingly belly dance at a Lebanese restaurant or renting a movie for less than a dollar and drowning the day’s mental anguish in a tub of Blueberry cheesecake ice cream from Woolworths Grocery Stores all by my lonesome, nothing felt more like home by April than Cape Town.

That month, I’d also picked up a few extra ESL students: parking attendant from Mozambique, a guy who sold me the newspapers working his magic next to the pharmacy, and of course, the political and economic refugees that I befriended in my first few weeks there. I’ll tell you more about some of those serendipitous encounters later, but how appropriate for me that the people on whom I had an impact were local (literally right downstairs). It’s not just politics that is local! In part, this kind of thing is what I love most about Cape Town. You have that ability to change your neighbors’ lives by simply smiling and giving them a kind word, maybe buying some food for them, or having them over for English lessons and coffee. It is truly a unique city, and one in which you don’t have to walk ten steps to have the opportunity to improve someone’s life. You can have one of the best meals of your life, give the leftovers to a man who hasn’t eaten in days, climb a mountain, scuba dive, speak in 11 foreign languages, play soccer in one of the poorest neighborhoods you’ve ever seen, and drive to a vineyard all in the same day. It’s a diverse, rich, poor, and beautiful, adventurous city…all at the same time.

But I digress. Back to service. The most enjoyable service project that I did in April wasn’t teaching English. It was the RYLA event (a leadership program, sponsored by Rotary, for junior high and high school students). The kids were a lot of fun, and the experience brought back a flood of memories of my “former life” at Oak Mountain as Junior High Director…if I could only go back and do junior high school knowing what I know now.

The whole weekend at RYLA was one big competition, so of course all of the other counselors were rolling their eyes at how “intimately involved” I became. My team was out to WIN, even though the other teams, which probably could have cared less, actually had things to say about that…we got lost, under my leadership, in the obstacle course, blinded by my own ambitions yet again! When will I learn? Anyway, I'm not much for pointing fingers, but let me just say that Jeremy had some serious issues on the rope course over that huge ravine (the one from the movie Cliffhanger). All I'm sayin is that it’s probably his fault that we lost…jerk!

I think we came in third overall. But as much as my prideful spirit was crushed at the loss to a bunch of Girl Scout hoodlums (I still want them tested for performance enhancing drugs), there was a bright spot on the weekend: Mofia. That’s right folks. If you don’t know this game, then you’re basically a neanderthal who has no fun in life. These kids were in love with the game at its inception. I believe I started an epidemic that first night, or call it a social revolution if you will. We stayed up well past our bedtimes and I taught those impressionable young adults how to lie, mistrust their fellow man, and kill people in their sleep. They were almost as good at the game as I had been when I first learned to play at church. I couldn’t have been prouder of my little neophytes...

As you can tell, I did a lot in April. Everyday is an exciting day in the Southwestern-most point of Africa. So I'm alive and well. May comes in the next few days (I hope). Stay tuned.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Long Overdue

Right...it's been way too long since I last updated the blog. Cut me some slack, though, because life has been 'hectic' as South Africans say. So, I did Spring Break (it's actually called Fall Break here, though), and it was fun. I had two friends visiting during their Fall Breaks (Lisa from B'ham and Ben from Mississippi) so I got to try my luck at playing host. Verdict is not yet out on my performance...Lisa? Ben?
It was a fun week, and I've got pictures to prove it.


















This first picture is of the African Trading Post, one of those places you see plastered on every post card throughout the country. It's located at the V&A Waterfront, about 5 minutes from my place. I go there at least once a week. It's awesome. On a random note about V&A Waterfront, just to get your bearings straight, has anyone seen Blood Diamond? Well, the part at the end where Leonardo DiCaprio (sp?) calls the journalist and then the movie pans to the scenery where the journalist is getting lunch (ringing any bells?), anyway, that's where I go about once a week. Feel free to be jealous. Here is another picture of Lisa and I at the Waterfront, in front of one of those posts which shows you how far and in what direction other major cities around the world are found. That post was placed there by Rotary International. We figured it was only right to take a picture in front of it (even if Lisa had that ugly Auburn shirt on). Trust me, I tried to get the guy taking it to cut out our bodies so as to avoid that ugly shirt, but to no avail. And for those of you without access to Facebook, here is a picture of me without a full head of hair. It's not such a bad look, right?













What else...oh, well there are sea lions at the Waterfront. I now know from personal experience why they are called sea lions, though. They not only have a mean roar if you try to pet them, they have got some pretty SERIOUS teeth. Here are two of our not-so-friendly friends.














Alright, so besides the Waterfront, there is plenty to do in Cape Town. There is always a quick drive to the winelands of Stellenbosch. Of course, if you're like me, you'll spend the entire time in a book store. Not to worry, however, I took a few pictures. Here are a few.















The first one is of the 2nd oldest church in South Africa. It's freaking beautiful there. There is also an old cemetery at the back of the church. It's really cool to see the old tombstones and everything. As for the second one, are we looking at a). my future residence b). a seminary school or c). some rich fool's house. If you answered b. a seminary school, then you'd be right. The Dutch Reformed Church obviously has way too much money to be rolling on dubs like this, but whatever. All you reformed kids, now you know where you should really look at attending. Screw RTS and Covenant! This pad is FAT! Trust me!

Next stop was the Boulders, home to the only native group of penguins in Africa. Locals call them the jackass penguins, because of their donkey-like bray. And for my mother, a huge penguin fanatic, I took lots of pictures. Here are a few pictures of the Boulders and my trip to the Cape of Good Hope.
















Alright, sorry for keeping it brief. I know you probably wanted some more stories, but I had to keep it light this time around. These computers have crashed nearly three times since I've been posting these pictures (and let's be honest...all you want to see are the beautiful pics of far away lands). Soooooo, I would post more stories, but I'm tired and worried about this computer. Bandwidth here is pretty hard to come by ya know. Anyway, it was a great week. The pics should do the talking. I'll see ya soon!
jdc

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Jealous? Because you probably should be

I promised pictures. * I don't take responsibility for the way these picutres show up on your desktop. I tried like crazy to get them organized, but I can't position them like I really want. Anyway, get over it.*

So this is Cape Town, the Mother City. I wake up and look at this mountain every day. The water is about a 4 minute walk from my home. V&A Waterfront, the main tourist attraction in town, is a 3 minute walk. Long Street, party central, is a 3 minute drive. Y'all know I'm not much of a partier, but it's convenient if friends are hitting up the town. It's all pretty amazing, and I'll try to get some photos of the Waterfront sometime soon.


Below is what I'm doing next week on Rotary's dime and my week off. Am I the luckiest person in the world or what?!? If not here, then you'll find me hanging with the penguins on the beach, going shark diving (scared out of my mind, but still going), touring Robben Island, going to a Jazz Festival in Kirstenbosch Gardens, and searching for Desmond Tutu's Easter Service.




Here are a few shots of campus. The first two are taken from the rugby fields. The other one is part of my daily walk to class. Can you believe this?






















Below are all of the Cape Town Rotary Scholars, actin' a fool at our luncheon at the Royal Cape Yatch Club. Yeah....I'm not dreaming this stuff up kids! This mess is for real. Quick game - Who wants to play 'Guess Which Scholar is from Europe?". I'll give you a hint...I'm surprised that she's even smiling. Europeans DO NOT smile and definitely don't act crazy in pictures.



The entire orientation was pretty awesome. We had several scholars in attendance. To give you an idea of the international flare, we had people from the following:


Namibia, Egypt, South Africa, Germany, Switzerland/Italy (long story), Canada, Ireland, Panama, and the United States.


Within the United States, we had scholars from:


Boston, Chicago, Atlanta, Murphreesboro, Seattle, somewhere in Alaska, D.C., San Fransisco, Los Angeles, Jacksonville, Mississippi (my homeboy throughout the orientation), Houston, New Mexico (I think), and somewhere in Connecticut


So you want to talk about some diversity of opinions and cultural experiences!?! It was quite the melting pot.

Here's where we went after the orientation, a concert. This is Kirstenbosch Gardens, where my host Rotary Club is located. Every Sunday evening there is a concert here, and there is a huge Jazz festivalover the break. I'm planning on being there the whole time...or most of it anyway. Can you see the stage in this pic?

Anyway, all of the scholars came out here as the orientation was winding down, and we had a big feast of fruit, bread, cheese, and South African wines. Since we had just come from a winery in Stellenbosch (look it up; it's incredible), we all considered ourselves experts. Anyway, good fun was had by all.

This place is like the Botannical Gardens on crack! Check out the view of the mountains, and the whole place was so lush and green. The mountain is incredible, and they have got some beautiful gardens to match. All you gardeners out there would have a field day at this place. The concert hall is located on the other side of the facility from the gardens, but it was equally as incredible. We even got up and played frisbee for a while during the concert. Granted, we were pathetic, but it was fun nonetheless. Here is a picture of some of us once again. So, yet again, let's play the game. Who in this picture is European? If you can't guess it, then I've lost all respect for you as a human being. Oh yeah, and notice me sporting the Alabama hat. HOLLA!!! I couldn't leave home without a peice of my heart.



Well, I guess that should do for now. There are about a million other pictures that I could show you, including pictures from the 4 1/2 hour scenic flight around Cape Town that one of the Rotarians so graciously proffered up on Tuesday. And yes, it was incredible. I consider myself extremely blessed for having such experiences. I'm still shocked at how much fun and how many adventurous things one person can have/do/be exposed to in a lifetime.


Lastly, if you're jealous, don't you worry. Retribution is swift for the lazy student. I have a paper due in 6 hours, and this blog has been handled with more care than that paper! On that note...

Enjoy your weekend. I think we can safely say that I will enjoy mine.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

I debated not including this update, but here goes...

I bought a car. I'm the proud owner of a 1994 Mazda 626 with over 250,000 miles on it.

Day 1 with car – I hit a load-bearing column.

Day 2 with car – I hit a pole.

Day 3 with car – I hit a parked car in what some would call the most ridiculously small and disorganized parking lot in the history of mankind.

Day 4 with car – I scratched the car while pulling into my parking space at home.

So I’ve resigned myself to having the worst depth perception this side of the Sahara. Oh and I hate driving on the other side of the road. The car was pretty expensive, as all cars here are, but it was about the cheapest one I could find. I sure am glad that I didn't try to get a nicer one!

End of story.

Quit laughing.